Macaroni and Everything

Last night, I went over my friend Nikki's house. She provided me with several packages of almonds and non-perishable milk, as well as single-serving packs of peanut butter and jelly, so those will all likely be making their way into my recipes this week.

Here's a recipe that makes use of almonds and milk! It's MACARONI AND EVERYTHING.

Ingredients

• 1 box of macaroni and cheese
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1/4 cup butter
• 2 oz crushed almonds
• 1 can of tuna
• green beans as desired

How We Do

1. Bring water to a boil over medium heat in a saucepan.
2. Add macaroni. Stir occasionally until macaroni is tender.
3. Remove from heat and drain water. Put macaroni in a bowl.
4. Melt butter over remaining stove heat in saucepan.
5. Add milk and cheese packet. Stir well.
6. Add macaroni, green beans, and tuna, and mix thoroughly.
7. Crush almonds, and stir in.
8. Eat up and chow down!

Wow! The almonds actually go really, really well with the tuna, cheese, and beans. Give it a shot, it's surprisingly tasty!

Ramen Insanity

First off, I would like to apologize for my lengthy hiatus from this blog. I was on vacation in Portland, Oregon for two weeks, and then I was busy moving to a new apartment.

But now I am back, and ready to create some more dietary atrocities.

Today, I think I am going to do something even more unusual to my ramen... I am going to add green beans!

INGREDIENTS

• 1 packet beef ramen
• green beans as desired
• 1 tsp creamy peanut butter
• 1/2 tsp ground ginger
• 1/4 tsp garlic powder
• add milk as desired for creaminess

WHAT TO DO

1. Boil enough water to cover noodles over medium heat. (I use a gas stove now!)
2. Add ramen, garlic, and ginger.
3. Let boil until noodles are cooked.
4. Add beef packet, peanut butter, and green beans and stir well.
5. Remove from heat.
6. Add milk and stir well.
7. Chow down!

...I'd personally give it an A-. I might have put too much peanut butter in there, or maybe not enough garlic and ginger. It is tasty, but it could be better. Try it and tell me what you think!

Cheers,

Dominic

Travelling Without Cooking

I've not posted in a couple days because I am on a two-week vacation to Portland, Oregon. Again, the original intent of this blog was to show off all the nifty things I can do with a minimum of foodstuffs, but as I am on vacation, I will probably not be preparing any of my own food. However, I am going to do my best to keep a log of the wonderful things I will eat while I am here.

I was inspired to do this as I was walking down the street late last night (or early this morning?) and realized that there are roadside food stands open until at least 2 AM; there was pho, sausage, and other amazingness, all just waiting for me to stumble hungrily upon it.

And stumble I did.

At about 1 AM, after a brief stop in a gay bar and a night of Rock Band at a local video game bar, my friend Palmer and I decided to get some food and go home. I asked if anything was open, and he reminded me of the food stands. We moseyed over to the nearest sausage vendor, and we each got a kielbasa link. Let me tell you, that was the best kielbasa I have ever had in my life.

Next time I go there, I am getting the reindeer sausage. YES. THEY HAVE SAUSAGE MADE OF REINDEER.

Oregon is made of magic.

Cheers,

Dominic

Holy Moly Ravioli

I should be working on a paper right now. I should have been working on this paper all week, and now I have allotted myself 6 hours in which to finish said paper.

PIECE OF CAKE, I SAY.

Unfortunately, a piece of cake won't give me 6 hours worth of energy. A whole cake might, but I am not in possession of a slice of cake let alone many slices of cake... (which would necessitate an entire rack? Never mind.)

Anyway, I require protein, and that seriously narrows my options given what we have for food in the house. I want something hot and delicious, and that narrows my options even further. As in, there is only one thing left to do....

Holy Moly, Ravioli!

Ingredients

• 1 tsp minced garlic
• a drizzle of olive oil
• 1 can of mini ravioli
• 1/2 tsp Italian seasoning
• 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
• 1/4 cup tomatoes
• shredded mozzarella to taste

How To Do This Up:

1. Sautée garlic and olive oil over medium heat for just a little bit. Shake and shimmy it.
2. Try to open a can of ravioli, realize that your can opener needs to be replaced, and beat the can into submission until you finally get it open enough to extract the contents.
3. Realize that the garlic has now burnt to the bottom of the pan. Feel ashamed, wash the pot, start over with the garlic and olive oil.
4. Empty ravioli, Italian seasoning, and red pepper flakes into pot and reduce heat to medium-low.
5. Stir well while allowing to bubble ever-so-slightly.
6. Add tomatoes and stir.
7. Sprinkle mozzarella on top and stir once more until the cheese is as melted as possible.
8. Remove from heat, serve, and munch your lunch!

Mangia!

Cheers,

Dominic

Fancy-Ass Ramen #2

I am craving meat hardcore right now, but the closest I can get with what is in the house is meat-flavoured Ramen.

As I have mentioned before, that's not even remotely the same, but it's close enough in a pinch.

Tonight, I'll be preparing Fancy-Ass Ramen #2, Italiano-style.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 package beef flavor Maruchan Ramen
• 1 Tbsp minced garlic
• 1/4 cup diced tomatoes
• 1 tsp olive oil
• 2 cups water
• a pinch of red pepper flakes
• shredded mozzarella to taste

How To Make It

1. Sautee and shimmy garlic and olive oil in pot over medium heat.
2. Add water and red pepper flakes.
3. Let water come to a rolling boil.
4. Add Ramen and flavor packet.
5. Boil until noodles are soft.
6. Add tomatoes and cheese.
7. Devour!

Ohhhhhh, YUM. It tastes a bit like pizza, and could only benefit from chunks of italian sausage and some fresh basil!

Please try this. It is FANTASTIC.

Cheers,

Dominic

Slackeroni

Okay, I know this is a food blog. And my original intent was to post something every day. Clearly I can't be held to that on days when I am not home, but today I am just too lazy to cook anything even remotely interesting.

So, lunch today is canned macaroni and beef with shredded mozzarella on top. Or, as I call it, Slackeroni.

Dinner is probably going to be leftover fried chicken and sticky buns.

The rest of the day will be spent in the hot tub or sauna, or doing homework.

With any luck, I will be back to my normal wacky-food-making self tomorrow. Otherwise, I'll be sure to at least post something like this.

Making Excuses and Macaroni & Cheezus

I apologise for not posting yesterday.

As soon as I woke up, a friend invited me out to lunch at a local restaurant called Downtown Olly's. This in itself should be proof that I sleep far too late for my own good.

After lunch, I helped another friend run errands, for which he paid me back in the form of bacon cheese fries and a salad at Outback Steakhouse.

I was out of the house from the time I woke up until 2 AM, so I did not have the chance to cook anything let alone post about it.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Either way, here's Macaroni & Cheezus, so named because it is a miracle that something so delicious can come from a box of macaroni and cheese. WAY more impressive than turning water into wine!

INGREDIENTS

• 1 box macaroni and cheese
• 1 can of tuna
• lots of water (The macaroni box says 6 cups, but I don't measure. I just fill a large pot halfway.)
• 1/4 cup margarine or butter. I have no butter, so I am using margarine.
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1/4 cup diced tomatoes
• parsley and red pepper flakes to taste

How To Do It:

1. Put water in a pot and put the pot on high heat on the stove.
2. When the water boils, put macaroni, sans cheese, in the water.
3. Decrease heat to medium. Stir macaroni every so often.
4. When macaroni is tender, remove pot from heat, drain the water, and leave macaroni in the strainer.
5. Place the pot back on the stove, and put milk and butter/margarine in the pot.
6. With heat on medium-low, stir until well-blended.
7. Turn off heat and mix in cheese packet.
8. Return macaroni to pot with cheese sauce. Mix well.
9. Blend in can of tuna and tomatoes.
10. Add parsley and red pepper flakes as you see fit.
11. Drool in amazement at the wonder you have created, then devour it.

...and it was good!

This is one of my favourite dishes, because it makes enough for two meals, or enough to share. Sharing is caring. Make your own batch, though, because this'll be gone well before you get here.

Cheers,

Dominic

Tantalizingly Twisted Turkey Burgers

Did I ever tell you how much I love meat? I ADORE meat.

I know, the last couple days, my posts on here have had no actual meat ingredients... and I am not counting the chicken packet in Ramen; it may not be vegetarian, but, honey, it's not meat.

Anyway, meat is expensive, and I am a college student living off financial aid, so I don't get as much meat in my diet as I would like when it involves actually preparing the food myself. However, the last time I went to the store, I bought a pound of ground turkey, and now I'm going to use it to make the most Tantalizingly Twisted Turkey Burgers I can come up with.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 lb. 93% lean ground turkey
• 1/4 tsp minced garlic
• 1/4 tsp garlic powder
• 1/4 tsp ground mustard seed (and I don't even like mustard! I'm getting bold!)
• 1 1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce (this could be scary....)
• a dash of ground red pepper

This is the easiest recipe ever!

Let's go:

1. Place all ingredients together in a large skillet.
2. Wash your hands or put on kitchen gloves if you are afraid to get our hands covered in meat and spices.
3. Mix the craziness together! Do it well! Make sure it's ALL mixed in!
4. Separate the meat into burger-sized chunks and make patty shapes with it. By my measurements, this makes about three burgers and smells delicious already.
5. Put the skillet on medium heat.
6. Flip the burgers (using a spatula, please!) as you see fit, but not too often. However, the burgers should be cooked, not burnt.
7. While those are cooking, I'm going to toast two slices of wheat bread. You can do whatever you want for bread, but that's all I have right now. I'd use a potato roll if I had one.
8. I'm going to put just a trace of BBQ sauce on mine, because I love BBQ sauce, and in my opinion, even the most tender of burgers can benefit from a little extra sauce.
9. Chow down!

I'm eating this now, and it is beyond delicious, but now that I've bitten into it, I'm going to put some pickles on it. I hope that's alright with you.

Now go get your own. These are mine.

Cheers,

Dominic

Carrie B's Spicy Ricy Bean Sprouts

The inspiration for today's recipe comes to us thanks to my friend Carrie, who, upon reading last night's entry, asked if I could come up with something vegetarian. Now, I don't usually eat vegetarian food. I like meat, and it is hard to find foods that are filling, sit well on a shelf for a long time, and don't involve beans.

Here's my first attempt at a vegetarian-friendly lunch:

CARRIE B'S SPICY RICY BEAN SPROUTS

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup of instant rice (5 minutes on the stove top! Not instant by my calculations, but quick enough.)
• 1 cup of water
• 1/2 tsp minced garlic
• 1/4 tsp ground ginger
• 1/4 tsp oregano
• 1/4 tsp cumin
• 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 tsp soy sauce
• canned bean sprouts as you see fit.

Here's how to make it:

1. Put garlic and soy sauce into saucepan over medium heat. Shimmy it together until it smells amazing.
2. Add 1 cup of water. Stir well. Make sure the soy sauce is evenly distributed through the water.
3. Add oregano, cumin, ginger, and red pepper flakes, and stir well.
4. Once water is boiling, add rice and bean sprouts, and again, mix well.
5. Remove from heat, cover, and allow to sit covered off heat for five minutes.
6. Fluff, eat, and enjoy the fact that you made vegan food with no chickpeas or mushrooms!

Okay, so this smells delicious, but I went skimpy on the spices since I have never cooked something with soy sauce in it as a major ingredient before, so we'll see how this is. Carrie, I apologise in advance if it is bland. YOU are not bland.

*NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM*

....And it is good! It is flavourful without being overwhelming, and spicy without being full of death. I'd give it a mild/medium on the salsa heat scale. Next time I make this, I'll add tomatoes, and I'll sauté the sprouts in butter first.

So, there you have it. A vegetarian (and the way I made it today, vegan) option that is delicious, somewhat nutritious, and easy to make!

Cheers,

Dominic

Fancy-Ass Ramen #1

This is not the first time I have made a fancy-ass Ramen dish, but this is the first time I have made THIS fancy-ass Ramen dish, and the first real post in this blog, so I dub this dish "Fancy-Ass Ramen #1."

INGREDIENTS

• 1 packet of Top Ramen brand Ramen noodles (chicken flavor)
• 13 oz water
• 1 shake Kroger brand Worcestershire sauce (As you can see, my measurements are very exact!)
• a tiny dab of Open Pit BBQ sauce
• 1/2 tsp of Spice World minced garlic
• two shakes of Kroger brand garlic powder (for extra garlickiness!)
• two shakes of Kroger brand onion powder
• three shakes of Watkins brand cumin
• three shakes of unlabelled crushed red pepper flakes
• a liberal sprinkling of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese brand cheese topping (Don't judge me!)
• 1 tsp corn starch

OK, here's the recipe:

1. Take one large skillet, and put it on your stove (preferably on the burner)!
2. Shake Worcestershire sauce into skillet and shimmy the 1/2 tsp. of minced garlic around in there with it.
3. Turn heat to medium. Keep shimmying the garlic until you feel like it is sufficiently shimmied.
4. Pour 12 of the 13 oz. of water into the skillet.
5. Add BBQ sauce, cumin, garlic powder, onion powder, cheese powder, and red pepper flakes.
6. Turn heat up to high, and allow water to come to a rolling boil.
7. Add Ramen noodles and decrease heat to medium-high.
8. Shimmy Ramen noodles around to make sure they cook somewhat evenly. The water will not cover them in a skillet! You'll need to flip the brick-o'-noodles a few times.
9. Mix corn starch with the last ounce of cold water. IF THE WATER IS HOT, THE CORN STARCH WILL MAKE LITTLE LUMPS. That's why this step is here!
10. Mix the corn starch slurry you just made in with the other ingredients.
11. Add the flavor packet, put in a bowl, eat with chopsticks, and ENJOY THE DELICIOUS SODIUM-INFUSED DIETARY BLASPHEMY.

Seriously, sometimes I amaze myself. I'd have posted a picture, but I ate the food too damn fast. Try it at home! Tell me if you love it!

Cheers,

Dominic

Birth of a (Not-Really) Foodie

I've never been a big fan of food. I've often joked that, if it were possible, I would live off photosynthesis. I say "joked," but really, I mean it. If I would never get hungry, I would probably never eat.

This isn't to say that food doesn't sometimes taste good to me, or that I don't enjoy cooking. On the contrary, there are some flavours that I absolutely love, and experimenting with food is one of my favourite things to do. On the other hand, unless I am allowed free reign with my food preparation, I am likely to just grab the first thing I find that can be prepared in under 15 minutes, so long as it does not heavily feature beans, seafood, mushrooms, eggs, organ meat, chili peppers, et cetera. I am rather picky, and it would be easier for everyone if I just didn't have to eat.

All of this is much to the chagrin of my last two long-term partners, who were both borderline-obsessive about food. It was a point of contention between me and my last partner. He wanted to cook large gourmet meals, bake homemade bread, and only use fresh and homemade ingredients whenever possible. The food he made was delicious, but I think my insecurities made it feel pretentious to me. Yes, I prefer fresh produce over canned, frozen, or powdered goods, but I am not opposed to using processed foods, inasmuch as they last much longer and I don't eat enough to make fresh foods not wasteful. Suffice to say, he and I got into more than one argument when I wanted to go to Denny's instead of eat a homemade dinner, or when I was craving Ramen and he wanted to make salmon. Also at hand was the issue of cooking together. He loved for cooking to be a communal effort, and I admit that cooking together CAN be a wonderful experience. On the other hand, given the difference in our cooking styles, putting both of us in the kitchen at the same time would almost inherently result in arguments and a feeling of inadequacy on my part. This is not his fault. This was my frustration with the fact that we could not see food in the same way.

When we broke up, it occurred to me that for the first time, I could prepare what I wanted to eat when I wanted to eat it. Since then, I have been enjoying the most blasphemous bastardisations of cheap food that I could think of.

And that's why I'm here; to show you all the amazing and terrifying dishes that I make up on a tight budget out of whatever I can find lying around the kitchen.

Cheers,

Dominic