Carrie B's Spicy Ricy Bean Sprouts

The inspiration for today's recipe comes to us thanks to my friend Carrie, who, upon reading last night's entry, asked if I could come up with something vegetarian. Now, I don't usually eat vegetarian food. I like meat, and it is hard to find foods that are filling, sit well on a shelf for a long time, and don't involve beans.

Here's my first attempt at a vegetarian-friendly lunch:

CARRIE B'S SPICY RICY BEAN SPROUTS

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup of instant rice (5 minutes on the stove top! Not instant by my calculations, but quick enough.)
• 1 cup of water
• 1/2 tsp minced garlic
• 1/4 tsp ground ginger
• 1/4 tsp oregano
• 1/4 tsp cumin
• 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 tsp soy sauce
• canned bean sprouts as you see fit.

Here's how to make it:

1. Put garlic and soy sauce into saucepan over medium heat. Shimmy it together until it smells amazing.
2. Add 1 cup of water. Stir well. Make sure the soy sauce is evenly distributed through the water.
3. Add oregano, cumin, ginger, and red pepper flakes, and stir well.
4. Once water is boiling, add rice and bean sprouts, and again, mix well.
5. Remove from heat, cover, and allow to sit covered off heat for five minutes.
6. Fluff, eat, and enjoy the fact that you made vegan food with no chickpeas or mushrooms!

Okay, so this smells delicious, but I went skimpy on the spices since I have never cooked something with soy sauce in it as a major ingredient before, so we'll see how this is. Carrie, I apologise in advance if it is bland. YOU are not bland.

*NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM*

....And it is good! It is flavourful without being overwhelming, and spicy without being full of death. I'd give it a mild/medium on the salsa heat scale. Next time I make this, I'll add tomatoes, and I'll sauté the sprouts in butter first.

So, there you have it. A vegetarian (and the way I made it today, vegan) option that is delicious, somewhat nutritious, and easy to make!

Cheers,

Dominic

Fancy-Ass Ramen #1

This is not the first time I have made a fancy-ass Ramen dish, but this is the first time I have made THIS fancy-ass Ramen dish, and the first real post in this blog, so I dub this dish "Fancy-Ass Ramen #1."

INGREDIENTS

• 1 packet of Top Ramen brand Ramen noodles (chicken flavor)
• 13 oz water
• 1 shake Kroger brand Worcestershire sauce (As you can see, my measurements are very exact!)
• a tiny dab of Open Pit BBQ sauce
• 1/2 tsp of Spice World minced garlic
• two shakes of Kroger brand garlic powder (for extra garlickiness!)
• two shakes of Kroger brand onion powder
• three shakes of Watkins brand cumin
• three shakes of unlabelled crushed red pepper flakes
• a liberal sprinkling of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese brand cheese topping (Don't judge me!)
• 1 tsp corn starch

OK, here's the recipe:

1. Take one large skillet, and put it on your stove (preferably on the burner)!
2. Shake Worcestershire sauce into skillet and shimmy the 1/2 tsp. of minced garlic around in there with it.
3. Turn heat to medium. Keep shimmying the garlic until you feel like it is sufficiently shimmied.
4. Pour 12 of the 13 oz. of water into the skillet.
5. Add BBQ sauce, cumin, garlic powder, onion powder, cheese powder, and red pepper flakes.
6. Turn heat up to high, and allow water to come to a rolling boil.
7. Add Ramen noodles and decrease heat to medium-high.
8. Shimmy Ramen noodles around to make sure they cook somewhat evenly. The water will not cover them in a skillet! You'll need to flip the brick-o'-noodles a few times.
9. Mix corn starch with the last ounce of cold water. IF THE WATER IS HOT, THE CORN STARCH WILL MAKE LITTLE LUMPS. That's why this step is here!
10. Mix the corn starch slurry you just made in with the other ingredients.
11. Add the flavor packet, put in a bowl, eat with chopsticks, and ENJOY THE DELICIOUS SODIUM-INFUSED DIETARY BLASPHEMY.

Seriously, sometimes I amaze myself. I'd have posted a picture, but I ate the food too damn fast. Try it at home! Tell me if you love it!

Cheers,

Dominic

Birth of a (Not-Really) Foodie

I've never been a big fan of food. I've often joked that, if it were possible, I would live off photosynthesis. I say "joked," but really, I mean it. If I would never get hungry, I would probably never eat.

This isn't to say that food doesn't sometimes taste good to me, or that I don't enjoy cooking. On the contrary, there are some flavours that I absolutely love, and experimenting with food is one of my favourite things to do. On the other hand, unless I am allowed free reign with my food preparation, I am likely to just grab the first thing I find that can be prepared in under 15 minutes, so long as it does not heavily feature beans, seafood, mushrooms, eggs, organ meat, chili peppers, et cetera. I am rather picky, and it would be easier for everyone if I just didn't have to eat.

All of this is much to the chagrin of my last two long-term partners, who were both borderline-obsessive about food. It was a point of contention between me and my last partner. He wanted to cook large gourmet meals, bake homemade bread, and only use fresh and homemade ingredients whenever possible. The food he made was delicious, but I think my insecurities made it feel pretentious to me. Yes, I prefer fresh produce over canned, frozen, or powdered goods, but I am not opposed to using processed foods, inasmuch as they last much longer and I don't eat enough to make fresh foods not wasteful. Suffice to say, he and I got into more than one argument when I wanted to go to Denny's instead of eat a homemade dinner, or when I was craving Ramen and he wanted to make salmon. Also at hand was the issue of cooking together. He loved for cooking to be a communal effort, and I admit that cooking together CAN be a wonderful experience. On the other hand, given the difference in our cooking styles, putting both of us in the kitchen at the same time would almost inherently result in arguments and a feeling of inadequacy on my part. This is not his fault. This was my frustration with the fact that we could not see food in the same way.

When we broke up, it occurred to me that for the first time, I could prepare what I wanted to eat when I wanted to eat it. Since then, I have been enjoying the most blasphemous bastardisations of cheap food that I could think of.

And that's why I'm here; to show you all the amazing and terrifying dishes that I make up on a tight budget out of whatever I can find lying around the kitchen.

Cheers,

Dominic